Its that time of year!

Hayyyymmaaakkkkiinnggg.

we farmers. we make hay. justin cuts, attilla turns and rows, justin bales, we the people grab the bales and make big stacks, then i go and bring in the cows and milk them and wash up all the milking machines, then we the people unload the bales into the barn.

we started wednesday afternoon after the saint johns picnic. everyone else had the whole day off, but it was so nice out all the farmers were like go go go!! i had really bad stomach pains the whole day on wednesday, no matter what i ate (and i didnt touch any gluten), and last night i felt so awful i was nearly puking, and this morning I was in bed and had nothing but a bowl of porridge all day. I went late to the farm, just barely pulled myself together enough to milk and stack bales in the barn. eventually the fresh air and movement seemed to help because i got pretty much better. we finished everything at half past eight, justin gave me a lift home, i had some more porridge and now here i am at botton farm and now iäm going to shleep. nighty night.

the worst of the worst

basically...the worst thing that can ever happen to a 21st century human being happened to me. my computer crashed last week, just after that last post. i lost everything. i took it to the IT guys here and they spent a whole morning trying to recover stuff, when i'm sure they have better things to do, and when i went to collect it after lunch pete, the main IT guy (and posible lover of Donna, the woman who covered Bracken and broke her foot while Paule and Nick were away, remember?) told me I might want to sit down for this news. I thought he was kidding. he wasn't. i cried. a lot. donna hugged me.
all my pictures. all my music. all my school documents saved as keepsakes. but the real bitch is the pictures. documentation of Paris. when am i ever going there again? never. thank god i püt a few up on this blog...at least i have some proof. the one i miss the most is the one i took of the homeless guy after I gave him a sandwich. the ones of botton were mostly landscapes, which i am trying my best to replicate.

i lost the camera, then the computer crashed, then my iPod started malfunctioning. Bad luck comes in threes I guess. The ipod thing is simply a bad headphone connection, costs me 12 pounds. for now i'm using andy's computer and trying my best to keep in touch. i should have the iPod back by the end of next week and the computer as well i think....pete ordered a 250G hard drive for me (an upgrade from 80 G!) and it was like 60 quid...i thought it would be like 200! so thats all okay. i'm over it. Im growing and all that. hope you guys didnt give up on the blog! i know theyve been fewer and further between as of late.
love to all.

I found it! The internet!!

There is internet in the sitting room! Woot! Now I just have to keep up with this blog. Seems like more of a task now that I'm out of the routine of daily writing. So here's whats up:

I moved to Rock House...wow, ages ago I guess! Things were pretty hectic at first, it was har to get into the swing of things with morning gatherings for Whitsun, a week of duty driving and other things. But now we're getting there. There are three villagers, me, and Lucie and Jonas and their two-year old daughter Nouria. The villagers:

Jean is a 42 year old "small lady" who loves pink and sparkly things and tells me I am beautiful all the time and is generally complimentary and kind. She is sometimes a bit of a drama queen, squeezing out the water-works every now and then for a bit of attention. Oh, and she is Tom Woodward's long lost sister or something. I have never heard a more monotoneous voice.

James is 27 and...really annoying. I know this sounds just a smidge hypacrytical, but HE TALKS SO MUCH. HE NEVER STOPS. And he goes on and on and on for ages about politics and global warming and religion in the most annoying voice and he DOES have a learning disability so he says weird things and inappropriate things and just NEVER. SHUTS. UP. Don't even get me started on him and Bible Evening. It's hell. I'm sure he has some good qualities....I just can't find them yet.

Fiona is in her 50's, and I don't know her very well. Neither do Lucie or Jonas, so we're getting to know her slowly. I'm supposed ot give her a shave every morning (she has a beard) but it doesn't work out so well. Plus her shaver sucks and I don't know shit all about electric shavers so....she remains hairy.

My room. It's amazing. On a trip to the beach with Ben and Andy I lost/someone stole my camera, so I don't have any pictures of it, but I just ordered a new camera today and when it comes I will go crazy with pictures of this amazing house and my super duper amazing room!!! Oh and me, because, well, I look good too. Hehe. No but really, at least externally I feel pretty great. My hair is healthy and loonnnggg, I haven't had a single pimple in like, three months, my broken toe is un-broken, or at least painless, and I haven't been compulsively cracking my neck and back nearly so much. Internally, things could be better, but it's my own fault. I love gluten, okay? I don't love the subsequent belly pain and farting and lethargy, but sometimes it's worth it, okay? okay?! :)

I have to say, as this is something I have been thinking a lot of recently, I am not going to be fun when I come home. Leaving here means a lot of heart-breaking goodbyes, and while I absolutely LOVE my friends back home, and I do want to see you guys, I gotta say, I'll be in a right state when I get back, and I think curling up in bed and being depressed sounds optimal. But then again, I can see myself partying it up with Molly and elke and Liz and Aimee Olivia and all these wonderful wonderful people I havent seen in forever. And I can see myself going mad with turning my house into a home and bringing all this Camphill stuff into my life and using my new found cooking skillz and home-decorating enthusiasm and getting up at half five to walk my dog and weed the garden....all in the three weeks before classes start. right...do I have to pick one?

I'm going to the Mount this weekend, leaving Friday morning and coming back Sunday evening. It's a youth conference south of London; a bunch of young co-workers from Camphills around the UK coming together to eat, drink, play games and talk about Camphill. A right good time. :)

A few weeks ago Andy and I went to Whitby. The next day was my farewell with Tourmaline and we went to a garden with an outrageous cactus collection.

at some point i will write to you

But i still dont have internet in my room, i lost/someone stole my camera, and my cute german left me for a week. Next weekend i'm going to The Mount, a camphill place south of london for a youth conference. Well, its a bunch of young people sitting round a fire drinking and chilling out DISGUISED as a youth conference. We have three houses here for a big Arabian afternoon with amazing food I can't eat. This gluten thing is making me severely grumpy and whiny and angry and depressed recently. I just want to eat a fucking sandwich!!!!! Anyway, I gotta go pretend to be social. Pppttthhht.