Phew.

I'm really tired, so this will have to be quick.

After lunch today I talked to Paule about what happened. At first it was really really bad and she said my note was a total character assassination, which, now that I think about it, I was definitely too harsh, and I tried to emphasize that I had written it when I was really upset. She said that she could do the same to me and my character, but she wont and if I am really so unhappy here there are two houses that desperately need a co-worker and I could move. I was thinking "shiitttt nooo" but instead I said, "I'm sorry I was so harsh in my note, I don't think you're stone cold. What I should have said is how much I admire you. You have sacrificed so much to be a house mother, I can't even imagine--your privacy, your posessions, and the only thing you have that is really yours is your routines and the way you do things. I have a lot of respect for you, and I don't want to leave, I want to learn from you how to be better." Yeah, Georgie I totally stole one of those lines from you, but it was so spot on I couldn't help it! After I said all that she calmed down a lot and we were able to talk more as equals. I said that it's hard because I'm not home a whole lot, but really if there is anything I can do to keep her stress levels down it would be better for everyone. She said that there isn't really anything more I can do and that I'm doing the same amount as the other co-workers she has had, but that her stresses are external, the main one being Nick's health, and the other being Emily's psycho parents and the process of essentially dismissing her from Botton. Sometimes I really love Em, but she needs more attention than we can provide, so she really can't stay. Okay, and then Paule dropped a bomb on my head. She said, "Well, if you are unhappy, you won't have to live with us much longer. Nick and I are leaving Bracken in February." WHAT?! Yeah. You hear that noise? That's my mind blowing. Basically they have been asked to step down as house parents and are being somewhat forced into retirement. I thought that she would be happy to retire after ebing a house mother for 30 years, but she said she is not ready. I suppose that makes sense as well. It would be hard to do one thing for so long and then suddenly be told you have to find something else to do. Paule hasn't even met the new family who will move in, but they have a 12 year old daughter and an 18 year old son. Whoa. Talk about different. And we'll have a new villager after Emily leaves...it's insane! I'm gonna have to totally re-adjust to this new family, and the villagers will to, and I'm gonna have to be there for them and help the new family get to know everyone! It's so huge. The villagers don't kow yet, and I think they will be told after Christmas or something. Anyway, yeah. Crazy stuff. After a meeting about CVT in the hall tonight I went to Ben's with Ben and Lisa's and we ate chocolate and talked about life for an hour or so. It was nice. And now I'm sleepy and the weather outside is frightful. Slushy snow and hail. Blech. Goooodnight.