An Item of Concern

Here's one for the parents: um, there is something definitely wrong with my body. Perhaps I should milk England's free health care system for all it's worth and get a full body scan or something. Let me explain my sudden desire for medical attention: so sometimes I get chest pains, you know, like those kind of "fake heart attacks." But today in the byres I had the most horrible one I've ever had. At first I just couldn't take a deep breath without that little hitch in my chest (so maybe it's my lung) but then I could hardly breathe at all without really intense pain and then there was this feeling like a bubble bursting or popping and then the pain was gone and I could breathe normally. I was like, "what. the hell. was that." And that is on top of my ever persistent joint pain...can I NOT be 85 years old please? Okay, thanks.